When I was working, money was my motivation. Something to get me thru the day each and every mundane day at the Media Office.
I guess it's because we just started a new semester. I never had a 3-months holiday before in my life. I went to work straight after my diploma and I probably do the same thing when I'm done with my degree by the end of this year.
Then it's back to the mundane life of working/pushing paper whatever you call it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about being a student and summer holiday but what can I say? I worked for the past 6 years to help me with my degree finances and it still wasn't enough.
Went to EPF today to withdraw money from my Account B and thank god I have that. Seriously. I was kinda depressed thinking of how I'm going to pay for my fees. I am really glad for a lady called Haslinda from the Shah Alam EPF branch.
I mean, who doesn't dread having to deal with 'government people' or those closely affiliated to them. But Haslinda was awesome. She was nice, friendly and doesn't act like she hates her life, hence make it worse for other people who needs their services.
So on a high and happy note that I managed to withdraw my EPF money, I decided to head to BSN (Bank Simpanan Nasional) to get the PIN to apply for the PTPTN loan. The sucky part is that the Khidmat Pelanggan (Customer Service) lady was the typical 'I hate my life' kinda person. Here's what I had to go through:
Me: Kak macam mana nak dapatkan PIN PTPTN Loan? (How do I get the PIN for the PTPTN Loan?)
Biatch: Isi borang masuk. (which is loosely translated directly as "Fill in the entry form").
Without pointing me in the direction of where the forms are she kept repeating to me "Isi borang masuk").
Well there were only two forms available: A. Form to withdraw money and B. Form to deposit money. I kinda figured that it would be the latter. Okay, I filled it in and then only she gave me a number. Why can't you just give me the number straight away? Is it that hard to realize that there are 13 other people waiting in life in front of me and it only takes about 2 to 5 (if you're really dumb) minutes to fill in the damn form.
As I was waiting another dude came along. I didn't know what he wanted but he got the same stupid ass remarks coupled by the stupid ass face of the biatch that was supposed to be in the frontline of customer service.
Biatch: Isi borang masuk. (Fill in the entry form)
Guy: Apa?! Borang masuk? (What?! Entry form?)
B: Iye, borang masuk. (Yes, entry form).
G: Masuk apa? (Entry for what?)
B: Borang masuk la (while looking definitely pissed off that the guy didn't understand her).
Of course no one understands your kampung attitude. Can't you say deposit form? Borang deposit?! Does that ring a bell to your stupid ass head?
Bad enough the biatch doesn't even know that her information and directions are stupid, you dare look at another person as he's a dumb ass. Your're the fucking dumb ass you fucktard! If you don't like your job, get another one or is it because you're too stupid that other employers won't even hire you?
So you get stuck as the customer service personnel and gets a menial salary? Is that my fucking problem?? No! I got bigger issues like how the fuck I'm gonna get enough money to pay for my own fees.
You don't like your job, get another. You can't do that either? Then you deserve to stay at home and make only yourself miserable and not be working for a bank as a customer service person. God, even if you had menopause, you'd be nicer that the biatch.
You bloody work in the frontline of your corporation and if this is how you treat your customers, no wonder you work with BSN. Other companies would have fired your ass a long time ago. Pffttt... That is why education is so freaking important and it proves that Malaysians (not all, just the really dumb ones) don't really give two-hoots about education because no local bank offer education loans!
It's easier to buy a house or a car than get financing for education. Apparently foreign banks can't give out education loans because Bank Negara said they can't. So there I was, with my backpack laden with stuff for work going from bank to bank asking if they had education loan. None... NONE offered study/education loans. Not CIMB, RHB, Public Bank,Maybank or whatever ass bank there is. UOB has it on their website but I didn't bother asking because there's an age limit of 25 to get an education loan. Since when do we have an age limit to learn and gain knowledge? Have they heard of "It's never too late to learn" before?
PTPTN? They can only give RM10,000/year and my fee for a semester is RM14,045. So multiply that by two and you can pretty damn well see that that amount won't even get me through a semester. But beggars can't be choosers. I'll take what I'm given.
It just sucks that no banks bothers to give you a loan to pursue your education. You got the SME Bank to help with people wanting to open businesses, you have Agro Bank (Bank Pertanian) offering loans for farmers. Bank Rakyat (The people's bank) told me to ask my brother to ask for a personal loan from them then pay him back. Wtf? I might as well just ask my brother for the money but that's not the point. The point is, we get ministers after ministers, PMs after PMs telling people that education is important yet, you can't even get proper student loan.
Well fuck yeah, I do agree that education is important and that is why I'm hitting the books even if I'm older than my peers. I know knowledge and education is important and that is why I joined Monash in the first place. Because it will help me in the future. I pay the premium price now but I so bloody hope that it will help improve my life in the long run.
And please, everyone knows that I don't belong in a public uni so let's not even go there. I'm not demure, docile or holy enough to be there. So why put myself through another bout of depression while being ostracized by self-righteous people who judges people with the 'holier than thou' attitude? I know for sure that I ain't gonna get a one way, first class ticket to heaven but atleast I don't think that I am better than you or that I have a better relationship with god than you because you pray 5 times a day. Let's just hope you bloody pray sincerely and not doing it to make sure that you're in God's good books because that would be even worse.
I'm not a rebel without a cause or even a rebel to begin with. But I do not just conform because you tell me to or when you don't have a good (enough) reason. Ask me to wear a tudung in highschool? Why? I'm just gonna take it off once I step out of the school gate. What's the point of me hating it even more while sweating like a pig and thinking that my hair is all fucked thanks to it. I mean, if God didn't like women with hair then why create women with hair in the first place? And c'mon, only a psycho would be turned on by seeing a head full of hair. Are you that perverted that you get a hard-on just by seeing women's hair?
My hair ain't that great. I got a massive dandruff problem, split ends and some days (or weeks) it just doesn't want to cooperate with my hair brush. Some men even got hair nicer than mine. So why don't you go rape that guy instead! I mean, clearly his hair is more attractive than mine.
Going back to education, yes, I have access to affordable education but I know I'll slit my wrist(s) because I don't fit in. I'm just not that mentally stable or patient enough to hold my tongue to go all thru that again. I went to public highschool already. Wasn't that enough torture already?
Apart from what you just learn in classrooms, you also learn a great deal just by being around campus so being in the right campus is goddam important to me.
You learn about friendship, you learn who to trust and who you shouldn't. You build relationships with your peers because one day, we can help each other or even work together. I don't know, but atleast at Monash I know I can make friends and I do have great friends there.
I still do get the occasional looks from the sponsored kids. You know the look that says, "Budak macam ni dah rosak, kena jauhkan diri". Oh well, thank god you people are a freaking minority on campus and you just hang with your own lot anyways.
I have no problem if they wanna hang together. I'll be glad to show them what their missing. At the end of the day, there isn't anything wrong with boys and girls mixing together. It's not like we're having an orgy at the smoking area. We're just hanging out, talking, making jokes and helping each other to get through this place called Monash. For now, that is my motivation to get my ass to uni. Go to class, hang with the people I love and enjoy these days before it's over. Once we're done with uni/college that's it. After that we all have to grow-up where there isn't a 3-months summer break (unless you're unemployed) anymore. By the end of this year, if I don't fail I won't have the luxury of seeing my friends from uni. Heck, I only saw Usman during the holidays because everyone was busy with the work we got to get thru summer.
So yes, I'm paying a whole load of extras to make sure that not only I gain knowledge by going to uni but meet the people who will be part of my whole remaining life. People I call friends so cheers to that.
Here's a song that brings me memories of college and friend's I made back then who I'm glad still are my friends. Love you guys.
Incubus - Are You In .... P.S: Brandon Boyd is super seksi!
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