For a friend.

When you feel that the air around you becomes thicker and it gets harder to breathe. You feel that time is slipping away and wonder did you pass by chance already? Did you just walked by it or was it you who let your life or chance pass you by.

The feeling of regret creeps upon you. Why did you choose this path instead of the other. Where would you be if you took the other road. But you live in reality and must live with the fact that you made your choice. You are where you are because you dictated your own life. Not somebody else. Nobody coerced or forced you into choosing you directions.

You wake up each day wondering what will the day bring. Will it be a good day or should you just stay in bed and let it pass? Gamble your day with idleness to avoid the probability of having to face a bad day.

But because you realize that that is no way to live a life albeit the fact that sometimes you think that this isn't the life you would want to lead. You get up anyways, you get yourself ready, face the mirror to prepare yourself to face the world, perhaps even to make yourself feel better.

You go through the day feeling that you need to slay a dragon or just knowing that there will be challenges ahead. You know that everyday brings upon a new challenge or more. Like most people you rise above it and look at it as a job well done. But sometimes, just sometimes some challenges try to break you. Sometimes it may feel like they've broken you already. You whine and moan about it but the wonderful thing about you is that you hide it so well. In your laughter, your jokes... Then sometimes, just sometimes it will be too hard to bear and you cry on your own.

Just remember one thing. You have people who loves you and who will be there when the times gets a little bit too much to bear, when everything just doesn't seem the way it expect it to turn out. While we all try to be at peace with ourselves as we navigate our lives, we have each other to turn to. To share bad days, bad moments, fights with the significant others as well as just to share frozen-yogurt, have lunches or just hang out. You have a friend in me.

Give a little...

A little respect goes a long way. While respects covers a broad spectrum of our daily lives, what I want to rant here is respecting time and to be precise, other people's time. I know I am rather guilty of this as well because I'm usually late to meet up with friends. In my defense, although it's rather lame is that I live in a place far, far away from civilization and yes, traffic can prove to be a bitch sometimes. But as I said, it's a lame excuse and these days I try to be on time by leaving home an hour earlier.

I really hate when people are late and they don't even bother telling you. To top that off, when you call them they say that they're five minutes away and only 30 mins later they arrive. I'd rather that you just tell me you're gonna be late rather lie to make me feel better because I absolutely hate, hate, hate waiting. So please, just be honest because at the end of the day, you're still gonna be late and still gonna annoy me. Lying about it just makes it worst. Same goes, if you're waiting for something and get delayed just tell la. It only takes about half a minute to text someone and it's only costs 15 cents (max). Isn't it easier that way? Am I asking for too much?

Another thing I don't get is late night calls. Do you really have to call at 1am to ask someone about your car? Really? Mati ke kalau tunggu esok pagi? Is it so hard to have some courtesy? You may love your car but in real life, its a CAR! It can wait, it's not like its in a coma or something.

Late night calls should be reserved to urgent matters and emergencies only. When I say emergency it means:

A. You are in the hospital; but not because of a fever or something lame.

B. You are stuck by the roadside because your car died. Yes, that to me is an emergency especially after midnight. But if you have AAM, call them la. Don't call other people.

C. Somebody just mugged or robbed you and the only number you can remember is mine.

Please, think of others as well and not only the person that you call. If you know the person lives with someone else, you'd know that the ringing from your call would most likely wake other people up. All I want it a good night sleep. That's all.

Again, I am not asking for too much but a little respect goes a long way. If you know you're gonna run late, let the other person know. Don't tell them you just left whatever place you were at when you're still there. Don't tell them you're 5 mins away when you're gonna take more time than that and late night calls should be reserved for emergencies only.

I'm Still Here

I'm still alive and around. Just been busy with assignments to be blogging.

Here's what I've been listening to these days:

Vertical Horizon's I'm Still Here

and

Lady Antebellum's Need You Now

Will blog more when the waves of assignments are over, right before exam starts.

Back to Bitter Betty

I've been on Bitter Betty mode for a while now (that's what Lyn calls it). People always say, "Hey, I haven't seen or heard from you for a while. What's up?" Haiyoo, I'm so not in the mood to talk and my usual response is that I've been busy. With what? I have no bloody clue.

Apart from hanging out with Kevin on campus and seeing the other half of the Twisted Sisters; Lyn for lunches and just bitch sessions. I'm usually accompanied by Mr White at home. Somehow I see a vision of me being an old cat lady. Nooooo......!!

At this moment in time, I think Lyn is the only person who keeps me going. Seriously, this isn't a tribute post for her or anything. It's just that, I tend to look forward to those lunches or dinners or frozen yogurts because atleast, I have another person who goes through similar stuff that I do and understand what it feels like to be stuck in this country and having to deal with people who simply refuses to evolve. Gah!

I know, I know... I'm rambling and the evolve part is our inside joke.

But hey, atleast I have friend who's on the same wavelength as I am. Someone who doesn't mind going for a lesbian grocery shopping trip almost every other week together and not judge what is in my cart.

Truth to be told... we all need someone who's just there. Be it to bitch, whine, complain or whatever else that's needed and still take you as you are. God, I feel like I'm talking about some guy here. But then again, we the girls who went looking for car parts in various chop shops in TTDI, Segambut and Jln Ipoh even after people told us that it was hard to find her car parts. Hah! Proved you people wrong when we found what we were looking for at the chop shop. That day made the both of us feel manly.

Just by looking at us, people would usually say that we just have a negative attitude and outlook on life. Well, that is the real us. We're bitter... so? It's either you take it or leave it. We may be bitter, but we have each other.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another note, Iron Man 2 sucks. There's no story at all. Just fights, explosions and Mickey Rourke getting hit by a Rolls Royce over and over again and not breaking a single bone. Wtf? If I hit someone with my 'going-to-fall-apart-soon' Wira over and over again that way, he'd be dead! I don't need Rolls Royce. I can finish the dude off if you gave me my mom's old Mini.

In the second installation of the comic book franchise, Tony Stark is racing against the clock as he is dying from the paladium that's in his system. Ivan Venko wanted to avenge what his family had to go through since he thinks that Howard, Tony's dad betrayed daddy Venko, the scientist and got him and his family marooned in Siberia. (Fact: Ivan's dad Anton is the original Whiplash in the comic series). So we've got a dying superhero and Mickey Rourke with an electric whip.

In another part of the movie we see Tony doing some renovations to his home and made a collider in just ONE day. He didn't even pun on the suit. He hacked and jackhammered some walls and the floor and completed his rediscovery of a new element that ultimately saves his life and allowed him to fight Mickey Rourke.

Basically Mickey Rourke was just an excuse to make this movie because there's nothing more in the story that is worth mentioning. Even the humour wasn't as good as the first one. But this is nothing compared to Avatar which waste of 2 hrs and 30 minutes of my life. I could be doing something better like watching the grass grow or look at paint drying off than to ever watch the blue man group run around the jungle called Pandora. Hmmmphhh they couldn't even give an original name for a planet after they ripped off the storyline from Pocahontas. Atleast there was a cute raccoon in Pocahontas.

I'd rather watch Dear John over and over again. Atleast they have Channing Tatum with his shirt off in that one.

First of all, sorry for not posting anything up for a while. The internet connection here sucks now and I get frustrated when I can't get proper connection.

My new laptop finally arrived. I took nearly 3 weeks to get it but I finally got it. It took them a while til I actually forgot that I bought a new laptop. So it was kinda a nice surprise for me when Ed came home with it and I asked what's that? Or did I ask "Is that your new laptop?" I think it's the former.

Anyways, last night Ed took my to the Kelly Clarkson concert. I don't wanna sound me, oh heck I always sound mean... well, Kelly was on the chunky side. Although I know that we shouldn't be judging an entertainer just because they're a bit on the plus size but Ed and I just had to made fat jokes. Seriously, we had to!

Apart from the weight issues, Kelly was awesome. She made it look easy to sing high notes while prancing around the stage. There was no costume change. Just a black dress with leggings that made her look even fatter. But she performed non-stop for more than an hour and that is commendable.

I had a great time. I kinda have a mild sore throat on the account of singing (screaming more likely) along to her songs the whole night. In addition to her songs she also did some cover versions including Kings of Leon's Use Somebody, Kylie's Can't Get You Outta My Head and Alanis Morisette's That I Would Be Good.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Our garden now looks like a desert. After 4 months of living here we finally got some people to dig up all the earth and remove them so that we can plant proper grass in the next three weeks.

The lady fingers are bearing fruit and the funny thing is that I have no idea what to do with them apart from blanching them in hot water and eat them with sambal belacan.

The watermelons started flowering already. Soon I hope, we'll get to see some fruit.

Bangkung forever?

I think for 3 years now I have been avoiding weddings. Well this year is another year filled with weddings. I guess it's time for people around my age gets hitched, have the kids; the whole nine yards kinda thing. I have a selective process when it comes to weddings. Here's how I do it.

Wedding card arrives --> Whose is it? --> Relatives or friends? --> If yes to relatives, it's either I just chuck it in a bin or just leave it where I found it. Weddings sucks enough already and having my family around (either my mom or dad's side) doesn't help. Seriously. I am glad my cousins are all getting married and stuff but wedding + family = a double whammy on my part and the only thing that makes it easier is having someone to go with. But who the heck wants to accompany another person to a wedding. Seriously, I won't either. Having to sit at a table where you don't know anyone makes it even worse. Sorry, wrong number.

If it is a friend --> Is that person particularly close to me? --> Yes --> Is it a Malay wedding? The I got to borrow some clothes. (Hanie your kebaya is still with me in one piece. Keep forgetting to send it back to her). If it's not then it makes it easier. Atleast at Chinese weddings there's always beer or whiskey. That ought to drown out the wedding merriment in my head and by the time the bride and groom walks by, I am just smiling or dazing into oblivion or some made up land.

The thing is, I usually never get to the wedding. I am not particularly close to many people so 80% out of the invites usually just lay there forgotten or in the trash. Seeing wedding invites are enough to piss me off on some days. The 20%? --> I'll wonder who will be there and if there's a person I don't want to meet, I'd skip the wedding as well. I'll take my friend out for dinner to compensate after that. If there's nothing then I'll ask Ed if he wants to go. If he's busy, I'd skip the wedding and again take my friends out for dinner after that. I seriously hate going to weddings alone. Feels like I'm just gonna jump off a cliff after the ceremony is over or something.

So yeah, I usually attend 10% of the total wedding invites I get in a year. Next time around, don't waste wedding invites on me. Just text me the date, venue and time. It's easier and cheaper. If not, just invite me on FB.

Most of the time, while the wedding takes place, I'll be waiting for Lyn at Jalan Bangkung follwed by drive aimlessly while we figure out what to do. It usually consists of "Stop near Nirwana for a while, need to thread my eyebrows" or "let stop for cakes/ice cream/fro-yo/sweets!". Yesterday during a very early dinner at Chilis she asked, "Are we gonna be 40 and still be meeting up at Bangkung driving our cars that are about to fall apart?"

Honestly, being a realist, I wanted to say yes. I just don't think people like us are meant to be the ones off getting married, starting families etc. I mean, we're dysfunctional most of the time and dysfunctional people do not make the correct marrying material for anyone. Look at the Simpsons. Would you want to live next door to people like them?

But I said, no. I'm not gonna rain on anything and if people like me are caught saying things like that they'd say, you need to see the therapist. Well Lyn won't say it but most people would. They would ask me why am I so negative about everything then say I need to get examined again. It's a crime for depressed people to think negatively because people expect you to be normal and think of butterflies and unicorns or whatever normal people think of. Rainbows?

Anyways, Lyn and I did the meet up at Bangkung thing again and spent the day in Bangsar yesterday and most of what we did was people watching. That's what happens when two unmotivated people spend their afternoons I guess.

From our observations we also concluded that there are a few types of ladies with LV Bags. 1. I took it from my mom's closet category = Rich kids. 2.The Datins, the ones with the huge ass hair; sometimes dyed in a bloody fierce colour or some stupid ass blonde shade. You're Asian/Melayu or whatever, there's a reason why you weren't born blonde, coz it don't look nice. Sheeshh....

3. Then there's the young 20s girl who somehow manages to drive a nice convertible BMW, huge ass sunglasses, nice hair, designer clothes. I bet somewhere out there there's an old geezer paying for the car, hair, clothes and of course handbag.

Let's make a comparison between type 2 and 3. Type 3 probably is sleeping with type 2's man. So one man is paying for both bags (bags here is used as a metaphor, go figure it out yourselves). Well you'd think at 2 as a poor sad lady. But hey look, she still have the 'bag' and all. When that old geezer die she's still getting his money. The kids are still hers (if she has any).

For 3, you think she's slutty and easy? She's smart, cunning and at the end of the day, she's got her 'bag' too. Doesn't matter how she got the 'bag' but she has it doesn't she and I bet as hell she's happy for that as well.

So Imma gonna make it a point not to scoff at type 2 or 3 girls because at the end of the day, they're the smarter ones. Why? Because while I sat and ate my Monterey Chicken, I'm the only one without the 'bag'.

*But I'm still gonna scoff at type 1 girls.

Flower Power

As mentioned previously, I have been doing some work in the garden. One of the reasons (apart from Mr White) we choose this particular house was because of the huge garden. Of course at that time we didn't think about mowing the lawn or was it already obvious that it will be in Ed's department?

Anyways, I along with Ed and his brute 'foreign labour' like skills (he was in charge of digging out the grass, rocks and atleast 4 inches of soil) planted some flowers along with okra and watermelons as well. Here are the pictures:

I don't even know what these flowers/plants are called but they look super pretty.

The Japanese Roses patch. Got them in various colours: white, purple/dark pink, light pink, light pink with white edges, red and orange. It's easy to grow. You basically just snap one of it's 'branches' and poke it into the ground and voila, it'll just grow from there. Just make sure it's watered everyday. It blooms under the hot sun, particularly between 11am to 3pm.

These lovely red flowers are the African Daisies, my favourite flower. Easy to grow and I got it from the nursery for RM7 a plant. Not that expensive eh? All I did was to replant it in the planter next to the gate and water it twice a day. I'll post some pictures when the pink/purple one blooms. I'm anticipating that to happen by tomorrow or the day after.

There are definitely more pictures but I'm getting lazy to post it. Basically they're some shots of the okra and sunflower plants which I grew from seeds. The storm yesterday prompted me to move the sunflowers because it was nearly submerged in water. Thank god I managed to save them but my watermelons are gone.

I guess Ed and I have to start eating more watermelons to get the seeds again. Hope you guys have a wonderful Tuesday because the weekend is still far, far away.

End of the week... Weekend?

Ok, it's Friday and thanks to my quick thinking, I decided to go to yesterday's Media Audiences' tutorial instead of today since International Relations is on hiatus 'til next week. Word is that the asshole lecturer I fought with last week is not coming back.

I'm not accepting the word yet but it'll surely be good riddance to someone who doesn't even know how to teach. It's like being conned out of RM3500 and getting something less than RM200 worth. That's how you feel in his class.

Anyways, I really hope that fucktard doesn't come back. It's a Friday and the weekend is here!! There are things that I am looking forward to:

1. Drinks with Azraai tonight.

2. The one day road trip to a destination still undetermined.

3. One more week to go til Langkawi (if we're really going la).

Hmm... where are we gonna go for drinks tonight? Lyn invited us to 21 but knowing the fact that Azraai doesn't really fancy a particular person who's gonna be there, we're gonna scratch that idea OK babes? Don't want him to be stressing when we're supposed to be enjoying. Perhaps we can go to... Crap, I dunno, we'll figure it out later. If not, let's just stick to La Bodega.

Lyn, Mira!!! Where's our road trip gonna end at? PD? Melaka? Penang?!!! Where bitches where? I don't really care where we going actually as long as it will have great seafood for dinner.

Langkawi? Not confirmed but if it is we're maximizing our resources. Zil will be our guide there. We're gonna stay in a cheap ass motel. Keep aside RM160-200. Depends on the alco we're bringing back and a carton of duty free cigs.

God... I feel like having butter prawns... yum, yum, yum. Hope everyone will have a great and enjoyable weekend. *Hugs*

White Pills

To be honest, I have been on pills since I was in college. 2003 to be exact. I stopped for a while but nearly 2 years ago, I had to be under my medication once more. This is one thing that I find hard to explain but there are tiny little things (to most people) that bothers me so much. I've been under a lot of stress but when someone asks me what is it, I just get tongue tied and don't know what to say.

I can't pin-point it to just one thing because it is actually a combination of so many things. Things to some people doesn't even make sense to get stressed over; but hey, glad that most people find it small but there are people like me who finds it so hard to get through the day when you think abut all these tiny little things that goes in your head. They're like little whispers that reminds me of things that I should worry about.

I couldn't take it today. After they tapered my medication intake, I don't know it it's getting worse or is it just the same? They suggested that I take something stronger; but stronger medication usually brings in more side effects which can be damaging to other parts of the body after taking them too long. So what do I do?

Another question that I face everytime I pop that pill into my mouth is that, if this little white pill alters the way I feel, my emotions etc, then who is the real me? And if everytime I feel down and pop another one, I feel better and that makes me think (as well as people around me who knows about my situation) that the real me is really a sad, depressed person.

But wait a minute, I didn't even try being myself. The moment something feels wrong, I 'sweep it under the carpet' and pop a pill. So when they told me today that they needed to up my medication, I was overwhelmed.

Will I be a pill popping biyatch the rest of my life? Does it even really help? I'm already dependent on it so how can upping my dosage or changing it to something stronger will help?

Not even after 1 year of having to take sleeping pills so that I can catch some Zzzzz, I had to up the dosage. Towards the end of last year I had to take 2 pills each night just to sleep. When the doctors prescribed them to me, half a pill would usually do the trick.

So judging from this trend, how much more synthetic drugs do I need to take so that I would be considered normal? And what is it with society that tends to think when theres anything that is different, you have to fix it. Fix it so that it is familiar, so that you won't fear it.

What about embracing uniqueness? How about trying to understand that there are people who aren't lucky enough to just even be normal. Forget about being an genius (even those people aren't normal) or being multi-talented, people like me find it hard enough to face each day without falling into pieces, being broken and the next day work with the pieces that you're left with or with whatever you could fix the night before to go on living the very next day.

It's not easy knowing that you don't fit in. Knowing that no matter how many pills you take, the will always be something wrong with you, something broken, something that is just not quite right.

Then after years of being under medication, you realized that that person you call 'yourself' isn't even the real you. S/He may look like you, or from the outside shell is you, but deep inside it isn't you. Because when you feel weird, you take a magic pill that somehow just makes things better.

At one point, I felt so great, so happy; I didn't have the pressure, I didn't even worry. Then assignment due dates caught up with me and I wondered why didn't I panic? Why didn't I even think of worrying about it. I knew it was coming, I knew it was due in a few days; but why the fuck didn't I wake up and do something about it. Instead of just being nonchalant about it.

So where do I turn to? More meds until I forget who I am in the first place or just suffer knowing the fact that no matter what I do, I won't be normal, I won't think or feel like normal people do. Should I try to blend in or should I just stay outside and make sure that I don't interfere in the lives or normal people. I really don't know, just as I didn't know what to do when I realized about this in the first place.

So how many pills does it take to make me normal? I don't know either. I wish I had the answer, I wish I had answers to all your questions as well. But I just don't, so I'll continue floating in this life til I figure things out (if I ever figure it out). I hope I can figure it out, but if I don't, so what. I'll continue taking my pills, try to act normal as possible and shut those voices I hear in my head.

The voices that tells me I'm not good enough, I'm just not the right person, I'm just not meant to have a normal kinda life. Yes, it's self pity bullshit to most but try living 24-7 with someone who constantly calls you a loser, who tells you that you shouldn't have even bothered trying anything in life because it always ends in yourself screwing-up, someone who incessantly tells you that you're never gonna be good enough.

If anyone knows how to do that do instruct me. Til' then, I shall try to continue to push those voice out in hopes that no one caught me scolding myself you saying such things in the first place.

Not really proud but kinda...

To set the record straight, I'm not proud of storming out of class the way I did this morning. I mean, both my parents are retired teachers and they'd be greatly offended if one if their students stormed out of class after a heated argument. But then again, I was basically told that I was welcomed to leave the class. So here's the low down of what happened this morning at a high school they call Monash University Sunway campus.

Asshole: If you come to lecture at 9.10am you better just not come in because that would disrupt the class.

Me: But what if you have a valid reason. You know, like you broke your leg but somehow you made it to uni by 9.30 still wanting to go to class.

A: No, you can't enter.

M: But that shows that you still have the initiative to come to class.

A: No.

So if I have a medical appointment at 8.00am and somehow or rather I manage to get to uni and at classroom door, I can't enter? Even if I have an official reason? I guess not.

A: I will pin-point problematic students.

Wtf? Pin-point? Is that a threat? A threat most probably for the numerous students who have complained about him to the school I guess.

A: Divide yourself into two groups and discuss about realism.

M: We already did that last week.

A: Last week we discussed your opinion from realism, today we're gonna talk about realism in the reader.

Aussie Girl: We got our perspective from our reader!

M: So why are we doing this again? Isn't this a waste of time?

A: I'm the lecturer, I tell, you do.

M: I'm not trying to be problematic but if I wanted this, I'd gone to University Malaya.

A: If you don't like it you are welcome to leave the class,

M: Ok, cool.

So yeah, I walked off. I'm not proud of my actions but atleast I stood up for myself. I'm not going to roll-over or sit like they do in obedience school. I'm not your bitch confused Indian guy who speaks with a confused British-American accent. (And I don't look like your momma, so who you calling a bitch).

For two weeks, I had to deal with the most patronizing, egoistic maniac there has ever stepped into the campus. I mean, we have lecturers who are difficult to deal with but this guy really upped the ante when it comes to being difficult. Difficult isn't the right word to even describe him. Asshole would be more appropriate. He even told us to quote him in our assignments. Wtf?

For a 'terrorism expert' he is on top of his game at creating student terrorist. But atleast I learnt something about 'governmentality' which was thought in Media Audiences class. According to Foucault (some philosopher who makes my life harder because we keep having to read about him), he says that governments usually have problems in the solution they take to address a situation. So let me break it down to how I see it now.

The School of Arts and Social Sciences at Monash hired this DICKtator to solve their problem of having to replace another lecturer who taught International Relations because she had to go on sabbatical for her PhD. Now, the solution has become the problem where students from his class are complaining about him and how to solve the problem of HIM!

Haih... that's just another day at Monash. Seriously, why did I pay so much for all this crap again? Note to educational institutions who are hiring lecturers - Make sure you guys do a thorough mental evaluation before you let psychos like this near students.

On another note, Lyn asked if we should make a trip to Langkawi next weekend. To be honest, I don't really mind. I deserve a little break - the beach, the sun, the cheap alco will definitely be welcomed. Ohhh... the SEAFOOD!

It'll be a repeat of what we did last November but hey, what the hell. I love Langkawi and the bf plans on going there again during my semester break. Sounds awesome. We'll see how it goes.

Today, I'll end my post with one of my favourite song of 1998. Aqua's Turn Back Time. No, I am not as sadistic to put up Barbie Girl. The song is from the movie Sliding Doors (One of my fav. movies of all time I guess) starring Gwyneth Paltrow and John Hannah.

Okay, I'm bored. Just came back from EPF Shah Alam. The stupid letter that Monash charged me RM10.00 had some random Chinese name : Khoo Siew something. I went back to the finance counter (where I got the letter) after someone from EPF called informing me about the mistake, queued-up in from of 5-6 people and Quentin was nice enough to let me go first and I told them about the mistake and make it clear that I'm not parting with another RM10 (if that's what they're thinking!).

The lady at the counter was telling me to get the letter back tomorrow (today). It's my off day, I don't want to have to drive to Sunway to get that letter and back to Shah Alam to resubmit it to EPF. Why can't you people just get things right the first time? Seriously, there's a template on the EPF website where I can just cut and paste the whole format but no... you guys made me pay RM10 for the letter head that costs about RM0.08 if you order more than 3000 of them (I know, I used to order this stuff for the uni), along with a copy of the MQA (Malaysian Quality Assurance - The agency that audits unis and higher education institution in the country) certificate and a letter that says that MQA has approved of the course I'm taking.

I had class til 7pm but by 5.30 I was already at the counter making sure that the person make the change in the letter. Only ONE yupp O.N.E change which is to take away the random name and change it with mine. Well, fine... I gave them three hours; to be fair there are still a number of students paying their semester fees.

When I got there, they handed me the letter and this looks to me that they just printed the exact same latter that carried the name Khoo Siew something. So does this mean that when there's an error on your paperwork you think by printing another copy fixes thing? The exact same copy? Haiyooo... bad enough they didn't get it the first time, they managed to not utilize the gray matter and the thing that looks like squished up soggy noodles in their heads (their brains) once again. So the third time was the charm it seems.

*Another wtf moment brought to you by Monash*

Because of that, I had to waste my time, petrol, wear and tear of my car, 50 cents for parking just to send the letter bearing my name on it to EPF once more. Seriously, wtf Monash? Wtf?

Well, I'm in deep boredom that I have resorted to checking out videos on YouTube. I stumbled upon a parody of Miley Cyrus' 7 Things and it's LOLgasmic. Guys, stop complaining if your women are taking too long to get ready. You should know that it ain't easy to get ready and look pretty and we do it because of you guys.

I hope somehow or rather I can overcome my boredom for today.

Mizz Keys..

I have a sudden urge to analyze things. I guess because we discussed the term 'discourse' in yesterday's lecture and here I am this morning checking out some of Alicia Keys' videos. I then had the sudden urge to analyze two videos of my favourite songs from her - Girlfriend and Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart.

Here are the videos:

I heard Girlfriend (GF) for the first time and I was in college. Funnily enough, the guy I was with back then didn't have the kind of girlfriend that Ms Keys is singing about but I found the song as being one of the RnB songs you hear when you just wanna chill.

I know that I always put men in a bad light in my blog when it comes to relationships and how they always fail when dealing with their women but this time around, I need to have a sit down with them girlfriends.

In a whole bunch of cases, you get a guy and a girl involved in a purely friendly platonic relationship. Meaning = They're just friends. Then another girl steps in and the guy and the girl starts dating. Leaving the poor female best friend all alone. Boo-hoo.

You might feel like your best friend doesn't have the time for you anymore... well in some cases there are those who just disappears out of the radar when they meet someone then they start bleeping on the screen again once they're single. I have loads of friends like this but oh, well... janji kau bahagia (as long as you're happy).

So anyways, I just want to say... if you're the 'just purely friends' girlfriend don't fret. It's not that they guy hates you or anything but you gotta understand yourself, us females tend to be a little bit over the jealousy scale when compared to men. I mean, how do you like it if your boyfriend is consistently on the phone or meeting-up with his girl best friend? You'd get jealous too right? Well, if you're not; make sure you check too see if you've got a dick instead of a vagina.

It's not like you guys aren't supposed to interact but be more sensitive please. If you used to hang on the phone almost every night, I don't think that would be something much appreciated by the real girlfriend here. In most cases, you end-up being suspicious. I mean, there are things that we girls don't understand either but since we have a more active imagination, we might think or exaggerate the situation.

And guys if you have a girlfriend (an exclusive/special one) pun pandai-pandai la jaga hati. Remember that things aren't going to be like the days when you're single where you can just 'scoot' off anytime. How'd you like it if your significant other do it to you?

And be straight with each other. If you are going to go out to see your guy or girl best friend (this works both ways people!!) there isn't any reason that you should not tell your other half. Problems usually arise when you hide things and suddenly the other one connects the dots (or whatever) and finds out the truth, it'll make things even worse than it is already is (from the fact that one of you guys are lying and that's a big no-no in a relationship to having your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other thinking there's more going on between the two of you).

Okay back to Alicia Keys. In GF she was fresh, the song was on her first album and make sure you take a good look at her nose! Plus, they/she(/her management?) didn't really show her thighs/legs. I mean there are scenes when you can see when she put's on those red leather pants but you don't really notice her thighs didn't you?

Well, in Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart, does her nose seems smaller? I see more nostrils in GF compared to this video. I guess she must have had a little nose job done and I'm glad that it's such a good job that A) It made her look better obviously and B) The change was so subtle, I didn't see it.

I love her biker chick action on the BMW. I'd love to have a boxer engine between my legs that way... And girl, the helmet rocks! The only thing that makes it obvious that it's a music video is when she takes the helmet off and her hair is perfect. C'mon... where's the helmet hair/head? I know you won't get that sleek straight her when you take a helmet off. It's either your hair is all tangled up from the wind or you tucked it in the helmet itself to prevent the prior and have your hair squashed. There's no way, nah-ahh girlfriend that you are going to have that perfect behaving head of hair on your noggin'.

And what's with the purple trail of light coming from the back of the bike? Did BMW come-up with a very nicely coloured environmental emission coming from their exhaust pipes?

Ohh... don't forget her thighs. I know I shouldn't be highlighting this since I, myself is the owner to tree trunks which starts from my thighs straight to my calves but I just gotta point it out. At the beginning of her career, she didn't show much of her thunder thighs. It was only when the Karma video came out I first saw it while she was wearing that hideous turquoise cat suit. I guess sister realized that it's alright to have them thighs coz most of us have it. Glad that you're showing off what you got!!

Week Two Already?

Classes have started in full swing. It's week 2 already and somehow or rather, I have more interest in studying this semester compared to the previous ones. Perhaps the main contributor is that the units are interesting and easy to understand.

This semester I've got Media Audiences and Cultural Communications Policy; both are thought by Callum Gilmore and I must say he knows how to teach. It's not a snooze fest in his classes because he shows us examples in YouTube 'format'. So before we have time to get bored or before my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kicks-in, he'll show a video regarding the weekly topic and somehow that adds interest into his lecture.

Mobile worlds: Migration, refugees and the politics of belonging stems from last semester's Contemporary Worlds II unit and I purposely choose the unit because it's really interesting to see how mass migration or the large movements of people from all over the world effects everyone in it. The readings are great because I have interest in them so I tend to read more.

International Relations - This was a last minute decision. Instead of taking Globalization and it's discontent, I changed my unit to this instead because the unit name itself sells itself to me. The topics are interesting and well worth the time reading the prescribed readings but the only shiteous thing about is the lecturer. That man is unbearable.

He came into class with guns blazing laying down the rules. Then he said that he wanted to change the syllabus and even our assignment because according to him it's considered Jnr High Level in the states. Emmm... hello, we're in Malaysia, what makes you think Americans are better than us. Some of them may even have a problem of pointing out where the state of Rhode Island is in their country's map. If America is so great then what the hell are you doing here in the first place? And don't even think of changing the syllabus hombre! No one's gonna back you up on that because our exam questions are still set from Aussie. We're totally gonna flunk I we followed you Mr Pied Pipper of KREMLIN!

Oh yeah, he even said that we are to quote him in our assignments? I'm sorry, but who are you again? Reality check, you're not really important to be quoted in assignments. Please Mr TERRORism Specialist, you need to go for an ego trip or the uni should send you for mental evaluation to see if you're fit to even teach us.

I mean, how can this guy even be near students? I googled him and found out that he's an expert in terrorism. You bet he does, he's already on top of the job of terrorizing the students. Well, apparently several students lodged complaints about him and during tutorials (yes, Mr Nazi insisted on tutorials in the first week? Even when it is not in our timetable) he was extra nice. But it was obvious or seems like being nice is painful to him. He even tried justifying the homework he gave us during lecture.

Yupp, he gave us HOMEWORK! (Yeah, like the ones in Jnr High!). Anyways, even when he tries to change, you lost your chance buddy. The respect that you should receive as a lecturer went straight out of the window on your first day of lecture.

Oh another thing, when we asked about our assignments, he didn't want to discuss it and instead his excuse was because he needs to know who are interested in the subject and wait for the end of the period when you can add or drop your unit.

Hello, earth to confused lecturer! Who cares about that, aren't we showing enough interest by coming to tutorial after how you presented yourself during lecture? In addition to that, it was said that the next tutorial session only had 6 people in them. Show's who's Mr Popularity ain't the confused macha!

These people need to remember that we are paying students! It's not that we got here for free. If you come in with your military hoo-hah and expects us to do what? Sit, lay down and roll over? Sorry this isn't obedience school.

I'm not dropping this subject because it's interesting and if I have to be stuck with you then you better make sure you are up to the mark at teaching. If not, I want my money back?

*This is just another wtf moment/case brought to you by Monash.*

AA Alert

Gah... that feeling is creeping up on me again. The feeling of needing alco. Or perhaps just the need to get drunk and not be constantly thinking. Not so much of the getting drunk part because as I get older the hangovers gets worse. Miss the days when I could party up til 6.ooam and still make it for class at 8.00am. Albeit the fact that my backpack is tied to my ankle and I'm dragging it to class.

Nowadays, I won't even get out of bed til the hangover is over. But then again, I don't really get drunk these days so I actually forgot how I deal with it.

I'm not looking to partying it up, I'm more of "let's go to Bodega or something and chat and drink". That's kinda my thing.

Hmm... perhaps I should get some ice-cream today and douse it with Bailey's. Yesterday I was thinking of having a Colorado Bulldog (Coke+Kahlua) and today I just want to drink. Maybe I should sign-up for an AA class because my mind is subconsciously thinking of drinking these days.

I need a holiday. A real one quick. Maybe I should go to Langkawi one of these weekends. Chill by the beach, enjoy the sun and the sea, try to forget the things that are bothering me. I may be little to most people, but what's bothering me is really bothering me! Sighhh... the sign of aging, trying to get or experience as much as I could before people start laughing at you and pointing whilst saying, "who brought their mom to the club?!"

But then again, I am not a clubbing kaki in the first place. Never was, never is and never will. I find the whole thing tiring and knowing that almost all clubs in this region is a fire hazard doesn't really help.

I'm paranoid. When I went off to Kuantan for CNY (Ed was in Aussie), I hid the keys to the house somewhere else. Somewhere where robbers won't think that it's there. But then again, if they can break into the house, the can just smash through the doors of the room anytime. Bongok kan? But that's just me.

Another classic example of me being paranoid is that I used to carry a hunting knife with me. Yupp, a hunting knife with the blade made of carbon steel. I was thinking that if someone was after me, they'd better be read to deal with me and the 'knife of fury'!

Then again, I used to take different routes when I walk home from college. That's me being paranoid again. I'd rather take the longer route or change it on a daily basis so that I don't develop a pattern. So I won't be predictable and become a target of crime. Whatever kinda crime that you can commit to an 18 year old girl walking home from college.

I also always text the licence plate numbers of cabs that I take to Ed. Back then I used to text Diana my housemate. It's something that I just do. To make sure that even if I'm not OK, atleast people know where I was. Sometimes I even text the name of the cab driver.

Anyways, I don't know what else to write. I don't even know why I'm writing this post either. Macam buat semak otak aje. Oh, well. Gotta cabut.

My favourite mall here is the Curve.

1. I've been at the Curve before it was a mall. Hah... beat that!

2. The Curve was also my client when I was with Acorn which means that once a week I gotta go there and have a meeting with the A&P people. *The best part was scheduling meetings at 4.00pm so that you can just have dinner there when the meeting is over or just hang.

3. Beef noodles: My favourite food. The usual clear soupy noodles dish that I love and they have a Pho Hoa outlet there that makes my kinda beef noodles.

4. Borders. Need I say more?

I can spend up to 2 hours or more in a great book store and I love, love, love Borders. The selection of books is amazing. Well not as amazing to be called amazeballz but well, you get the idea. Borders is just awesome.

I usually start with the 'What's New' selection right at their entrance then move on to the fiction area. After browsing that department, I head on to the other side (no, not the dark side); the sociology side where you can find books on religion, the Middle East, politics and so fourth. I usually get stuck there for a while because those kinda books are expensive and being the la-la blooded woman that I am, I'd rather read it for free than pay for it.

The last part that I usually browse is the magazine section. I don't really know but I always end-up 'catching' myself picking up a bridal magazine and find a nice quiet corner, sit on the floor and flip through and looking at all the pretty lovely wedding things. I say 'catch' myself because after a while I'll be like wtf am I doing with this magazine? Why do I want to look at happy people getting hitched and I'm here in my shorts, with my hair going in every direction, blemished facial skin. They have on their best smiles, best hair, the most gorgeous dresses and everything looks fine and dandy.

Well of course the bride looks happy. Look at the male model she's posing with. *Hello Mr Hot Model*. She has on US20,000 or more Vera Wang wedding dress. Ken Paves probably did her hair and somehow or rather her make-up just look perfect.

So why the hell am I flicking through the pages of Style Brides? Do I really like to make myself depressed? C'mon lets face it, I don't think I'll ever have that perfect wedding that most girls (including me of course) dream of? You know, the white dress that goes swish-swoosh when you walk by but makes you look elegant, the fantastic decorations that looks simple and elegant instead of gaudy, the nice music (I want a string quartet complete with a harp+harpist for my do... if I ever get a chance for a wedding), the glorious food, the friends and family that matters the most...

Haih... I'm psycho! Chasing something...something that I don't even know what... it is. Sorry for the psycho/emo entry guys. I hate doing it and I hate having you people read it but I need to let off some steam. If not, it's just gonna keep on rotting inside of me.

I want it. I want the dream wedding. There I said it! I want the white dress, preferably a strapless one, or the one Uma Thurman wore in the Accidental Husband. God knows I can fit into whatever dress that I want now (on the account of not being fat anymore). I want the elaborate cake, the kind Just Heavenly makes (check it out, they all like fabulously yummy, sometimes too pretty to cut up and eat), of course the string quartet playing Pachelbel's Canon in D and flowers. Loads of fresh flowers. I once had tulips air-flown from Holland. But that didn't work out not did it? *Sorry for another psycho moment; just bear with me alright.

Here's some of the songs to be played.

1. Jem - Maybe I'm Amazed. Beautiful song fit for a wedding (first dance perhaps?)

2. Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E. No Ashlee Simpsons didn't do a cover of that song.

Haiyoo.... I can't think right now on the account of being psycho yet again.

I just don't know why I do it to myself over and over again. Why do I keep flipping through those magazines? Is it subconsciously embedded in me somehow like "Thou shall always want to browse through a bridal magazine". If yes, then WHY? Why would I want to see dozens of smiling faces when I feel miserable. Am I sadistic to myself that way?

Anyway's enjoy Pachelbel's Canon in D and imagine being at my wedding and having this play when dinner starts.

Motivation Needed

I need help to get up in the morning these days. I just don't know why. Today is my first off day from class and since I don't work anymore, I feel weird. Having this extra time.

When I was working, money was my motivation. Something to get me thru the day each and every mundane day at the Media Office.

I guess it's because we just started a new semester. I never had a 3-months holiday before in my life. I went to work straight after my diploma and I probably do the same thing when I'm done with my degree by the end of this year.

Then it's back to the mundane life of working/pushing paper whatever you call it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about being a student and summer holiday but what can I say? I worked for the past 6 years to help me with my degree finances and it still wasn't enough.

Went to EPF today to withdraw money from my Account B and thank god I have that. Seriously. I was kinda depressed thinking of how I'm going to pay for my fees. I am really glad for a lady called Haslinda from the Shah Alam EPF branch.

I mean, who doesn't dread having to deal with 'government people' or those closely affiliated to them. But Haslinda was awesome. She was nice, friendly and doesn't act like she hates her life, hence make it worse for other people who needs their services.

So on a high and happy note that I managed to withdraw my EPF money, I decided to head to BSN (Bank Simpanan Nasional) to get the PIN to apply for the PTPTN loan. The sucky part is that the Khidmat Pelanggan (Customer Service) lady was the typical 'I hate my life' kinda person. Here's what I had to go through:

Me: Kak macam mana nak dapatkan PIN PTPTN Loan? (How do I get the PIN for the PTPTN Loan?)

Biatch: Isi borang masuk. (which is loosely translated directly as "Fill in the entry form").

Without pointing me in the direction of where the forms are she kept repeating to me "Isi borang masuk").

Well there were only two forms available: A. Form to withdraw money and B. Form to deposit money. I kinda figured that it would be the latter. Okay, I filled it in and then only she gave me a number. Why can't you just give me the number straight away? Is it that hard to realize that there are 13 other people waiting in life in front of me and it only takes about 2 to 5 (if you're really dumb) minutes to fill in the damn form.

As I was waiting another dude came along. I didn't know what he wanted but he got the same stupid ass remarks coupled by the stupid ass face of the biatch that was supposed to be in the frontline of customer service.

Biatch: Isi borang masuk. (Fill in the entry form)

Guy: Apa?! Borang masuk? (What?! Entry form?)

B: Iye, borang masuk. (Yes, entry form).

G: Masuk apa? (Entry for what?)

B: Borang masuk la (while looking definitely pissed off that the guy didn't understand her).

Of course no one understands your kampung attitude. Can't you say deposit form? Borang deposit?! Does that ring a bell to your stupid ass head?

Bad enough the biatch doesn't even know that her information and directions are stupid, you dare look at another person as he's a dumb ass. Your're the fucking dumb ass you fucktard! If you don't like your job, get another one or is it because you're too stupid that other employers won't even hire you?

So you get stuck as the customer service personnel and gets a menial salary? Is that my fucking problem?? No! I got bigger issues like how the fuck I'm gonna get enough money to pay for my own fees.

You don't like your job, get another. You can't do that either? Then you deserve to stay at home and make only yourself miserable and not be working for a bank as a customer service person. God, even if you had menopause, you'd be nicer that the biatch.

You bloody work in the frontline of your corporation and if this is how you treat your customers, no wonder you work with BSN. Other companies would have fired your ass a long time ago. Pffttt... That is why education is so freaking important and it proves that Malaysians (not all, just the really dumb ones) don't really give two-hoots about education because no local bank offer education loans!

It's easier to buy a house or a car than get financing for education. Apparently foreign banks can't give out education loans because Bank Negara said they can't. So there I was, with my backpack laden with stuff for work going from bank to bank asking if they had education loan. None... NONE offered study/education loans. Not CIMB, RHB, Public Bank,Maybank or whatever ass bank there is. UOB has it on their website but I didn't bother asking because there's an age limit of 25 to get an education loan. Since when do we have an age limit to learn and gain knowledge? Have they heard of "It's never too late to learn" before?

PTPTN? They can only give RM10,000/year and my fee for a semester is RM14,045. So multiply that by two and you can pretty damn well see that that amount won't even get me through a semester. But beggars can't be choosers. I'll take what I'm given.

It just sucks that no banks bothers to give you a loan to pursue your education. You got the SME Bank to help with people wanting to open businesses, you have Agro Bank (Bank Pertanian) offering loans for farmers. Bank Rakyat (The people's bank) told me to ask my brother to ask for a personal loan from them then pay him back. Wtf? I might as well just ask my brother for the money but that's not the point. The point is, we get ministers after ministers, PMs after PMs telling people that education is important yet, you can't even get proper student loan.

Well fuck yeah, I do agree that education is important and that is why I'm hitting the books even if I'm older than my peers. I know knowledge and education is important and that is why I joined Monash in the first place. Because it will help me in the future. I pay the premium price now but I so bloody hope that it will help improve my life in the long run.

And please, everyone knows that I don't belong in a public uni so let's not even go there. I'm not demure, docile or holy enough to be there. So why put myself through another bout of depression while being ostracized by self-righteous people who judges people with the 'holier than thou' attitude? I know for sure that I ain't gonna get a one way, first class ticket to heaven but atleast I don't think that I am better than you or that I have a better relationship with god than you because you pray 5 times a day. Let's just hope you bloody pray sincerely and not doing it to make sure that you're in God's good books because that would be even worse.

I'm not a rebel without a cause or even a rebel to begin with. But I do not just conform because you tell me to or when you don't have a good (enough) reason. Ask me to wear a tudung in highschool? Why? I'm just gonna take it off once I step out of the school gate. What's the point of me hating it even more while sweating like a pig and thinking that my hair is all fucked thanks to it. I mean, if God didn't like women with hair then why create women with hair in the first place? And c'mon, only a psycho would be turned on by seeing a head full of hair. Are you that perverted that you get a hard-on just by seeing women's hair?

My hair ain't that great. I got a massive dandruff problem, split ends and some days (or weeks) it just doesn't want to cooperate with my hair brush. Some men even got hair nicer than mine. So why don't you go rape that guy instead! I mean, clearly his hair is more attractive than mine.

Going back to education, yes, I have access to affordable education but I know I'll slit my wrist(s) because I don't fit in. I'm just not that mentally stable or patient enough to hold my tongue to go all thru that again. I went to public highschool already. Wasn't that enough torture already?

Apart from what you just learn in classrooms, you also learn a great deal just by being around campus so being in the right campus is goddam important to me.

You learn about friendship, you learn who to trust and who you shouldn't. You build relationships with your peers because one day, we can help each other or even work together. I don't know, but atleast at Monash I know I can make friends and I do have great friends there.

I still do get the occasional looks from the sponsored kids. You know the look that says, "Budak macam ni dah rosak, kena jauhkan diri". Oh well, thank god you people are a freaking minority on campus and you just hang with your own lot anyways.

I have no problem if they wanna hang together. I'll be glad to show them what their missing. At the end of the day, there isn't anything wrong with boys and girls mixing together. It's not like we're having an orgy at the smoking area. We're just hanging out, talking, making jokes and helping each other to get through this place called Monash. For now, that is my motivation to get my ass to uni. Go to class, hang with the people I love and enjoy these days before it's over. Once we're done with uni/college that's it. After that we all have to grow-up where there isn't a 3-months summer break (unless you're unemployed) anymore. By the end of this year, if I don't fail I won't have the luxury of seeing my friends from uni. Heck, I only saw Usman during the holidays because everyone was busy with the work we got to get thru summer.

So yes, I'm paying a whole load of extras to make sure that not only I gain knowledge by going to uni but meet the people who will be part of my whole remaining life. People I call friends so cheers to that.

Here's a song that brings me memories of college and friend's I made back then who I'm glad still are my friends. Love you guys.

Incubus - Are You In .... P.S: Brandon Boyd is super seksi!

Can You Keep a Secret?

Secrets... everyone has 'em but not everyone can keep them. Why do we love secrets so much?

My take...

1) You feel privileged that someone just confided in and disclosed their secrets.

2) But what good is a secret when you can't tell anyone right?

3) So then, you tell your best friend or other people about the secret but tell them to keep that as a secret.

4) See the cycle developing here? Because of course the other person will tell their friends.

5) In no time, everyone knows about the 'big giant elephant' that walks by when the original person with the secret comes strolling by.

The lesson: If you have a secret and want to keep it a secret don't bother telling anyone else. Perhaps subconsciously these people want their secrets to be known. Perhaps it's better that way (in some cases).

I for one have made that mistake but hey, you live, you learn.

Sometimes it's just not big ass secrets that you want to reveal but also your emotions. That's why you get cryptic status updates or tweets. Eg: Mary thinks of that person bla bla bla.

Why can't Mary just tell who the person she thinks of? It it her mom, ex-lover, boyfriend, dog? Then you get people commenting and asking who is that person and so fourth. Then she'd probably reply, just some person I think of.

Well, well, well Mary... who are you thinking of? Probably someone important enough to be mentioned that way. Haih... but then again, it might be her cute puppy Sparky!

What's my secret? It's not really a secret but it scares the bejeezers out of me thinking that I'll always end-up alone and I hate that sinking feeling which I usually get when I am around a lot of people.

I tend to wonder if this is it, you know? Life don't get any better than this. Then I think, fuck yeah I'm with my best friends having a blast here drinking or chilling, eating or whatsoever. But is this the way that I spend most of my life in the future? What about other things you know, the family shiz? Do things like that really happen to people like me?

I can't help thinking that way. Like Kevin always say, that's just the way we look at life. We're cynics, we consistently look at life with the glass half empty. Oh god I can't wait til' I see him again. Being with Kevin makes me feel normal because I'm with a person who's on the same page as I do. If he wasn't gay, I'd totally marry him.

Hmmm... wait a nimmit. Maybe we can make a pact. Like when we turn 40 and no one wants us, we can just marry each other and live together happily, cynically ever after. It's definitely a better option that crappily ever after right?

But then again, I do have another pact I made with Redza (one of my closest friend who I, myself regret not keeping a close contact with these days). Well, we thought that we should just marry each other if we're still not by the time I turn 27 and he, 35. Well, that is coming next year. I wonder if he still remembers our deal.

Haih, the things we say and do when we didn't really think of the future at that time. Now the future has become today and tomorrow is just a day away. Each day I wake up and realized that that's one day gone. Sigh...

Anyways, here's something I was listening to. Can You Keep a Secret by Utada Hikaru. I used to be a fan of hers back in highschool and I remember that my classmate NgunTC was obsessed with her too. Well, back then he didn't know he was gay either but it was obvious he was leaning towards that and I am glad you came out of your closet!

End of a Beginning

Uni officially starts this Monday. Again, I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'd seriously rather work than hit the books? But I need that degree. Haih....

Since moving to No.43, I use the road after Subang Airport to get to Shah Alam. On the way there is Kg Melayu Subang. I don't have a problem with the kampung (be it kg Cina, India, DLL or whatever la) but what I do have a problem is all the Mak Cik driving on that road; they tend to bloody drive you off the road most of the time.

Why? My theory is that they don't have peripheral vision? Why again? Their tudung! Are your arms too heavy for you to fold you headgear nicely? Seriously people if you wear it make sure you wear it properly. I don't have a problem with your tudung but if it hinders your sight and put other people's well being at risk, then I have a problem with you!

Look at Exhibit A:

*Sorry about the picture, it's kinda small.

Those horses have blinds on them so they focus on the way their supposed to be going but when you drive, you need all the 'eyes' you can get and having a pseudo blind doesn't help!!! Tolonglah rajinkan diri anda dan lipat tudung tu! (Please fold your head scarves/gear). It'll look better if you do it too! *

Looking back, I realized that I have three special brothers. They are the gays of my life and I love you guys. Alan, Azraai and of course Kevin (my classmate not the other Kevin aka K) I'd be lost without you guys.

Alan: My lepak kaki when there's nothing else but drive around and smoke. He's my adik kesayangan.

Azraai: My style guru. If it weren't for you, I'd still look like a person who just got out from a train wreck or car crash.

Kevin: Uni would be boring without you. Who else am I gonna sit with and by cynical with at the smoking room and class. Without you, I'd be all alone criticizing the Korean girl's ugly shoes and bow! I can't wait to see you

Here's a song for them. Jennifer Lopez's Baby I Love You. The song was originally written for Ben Affleck but we all know what happened to Bennifer... Ben found another Jennifer (Garner) and married her instead. Oh well, I hope J.Lo kept the pink diamond engagement ring he got for her! I love the video too because she doesn't look like she had 5 inches of make up which will go poof! when you smack her in the face.

Another gay that I love is... (Drum rolls please!) Mr Anderson Cooper (Mr Silver Fox) himself. Look at him, he's hot, wealthy (all that Vanderbilt money), smart (the guy graduated from Yale), was a model for CK and Ralph Lauren and he was also an intern in the CIA. He has the whole package of any girl's dream man!

Although he never did confirm that he is gay, but c'mon a man that perfect? Of course he's gay. Hahah... jahat mulut aku but hey, gay or not I LOVE ANDERSON COOPER. He was one of the reasons I thought of being a reporter (Christiane Amapour is still my number 1 idol tho).

Somoeone actually made a blog about him and I love it. Check it out: http://addicted-to-andy.blogspot.com/

And since I'm always posting emo songs, here's another one from J.Lo and Marc Anthony aka Skeletor (before they got married and popped the twins). The Spanish song is about the guy not wanting his woman love him anymore coz he's dying or something. Well, March Anthony does look like he' got some serious illness due to him being extra skinny and near skeletal.

Hope you guys enjoy the long weekend. Remember, if you're thinking of going to the Curve or Ikano, remember that Ikea is having their annual sale. Try to avoid the place like the plague if you don't intend to get stuck in the jam and take forever to get a parking space. If you can't get a proper parking please don't park your car by the roadside because when there's millions of people wanting to just browse the place and end up with some stuff then decided to dump them before the counter because the line is too damn freaking long, putting your car by the roadside will create more jam. So please park at the Curve or Ikano properly.

What's my plan for the weekend? More gardening. My African Daisy bloomed for the first time after being under my care this morning and I'm excited to get more plants. The okra started sprouting from the seeds and seems to be doing great as well. The only problem is that being a novice (after not doing any bit of gardening for years), I planted the whole packet and now I got like 20 okra plants fighting for space. I'm considering about sending my mom some of the plants because she's got the space in the garden and I know it will be well taken care of.

Well hello there....

I have moved yet again! I have decided to come back to Blogger because... just because. I don't usually like moving to a new blog but I guess, what the hell.

I no longer drink a double shot of espresso in the morning anymore. The reasons:

1. I don't have to wake-up early in the morning for work anymore.

2. I have more time to sleep these days that I don't even take coffee in the morning.

3. I need a change.

4. Moved into a new house last month. I guess my blog gotta follow my lead as well.

I'm still the one writing the shiz on the blog so, it's the same thing. Just a different address. Thank's for reading my ramblings and my continuing whining! Cheers guys...