Can You Keep a Secret?

Secrets... everyone has 'em but not everyone can keep them. Why do we love secrets so much?

My take...

1) You feel privileged that someone just confided in and disclosed their secrets.

2) But what good is a secret when you can't tell anyone right?

3) So then, you tell your best friend or other people about the secret but tell them to keep that as a secret.

4) See the cycle developing here? Because of course the other person will tell their friends.

5) In no time, everyone knows about the 'big giant elephant' that walks by when the original person with the secret comes strolling by.

The lesson: If you have a secret and want to keep it a secret don't bother telling anyone else. Perhaps subconsciously these people want their secrets to be known. Perhaps it's better that way (in some cases).

I for one have made that mistake but hey, you live, you learn.

Sometimes it's just not big ass secrets that you want to reveal but also your emotions. That's why you get cryptic status updates or tweets. Eg: Mary thinks of that person bla bla bla.

Why can't Mary just tell who the person she thinks of? It it her mom, ex-lover, boyfriend, dog? Then you get people commenting and asking who is that person and so fourth. Then she'd probably reply, just some person I think of.

Well, well, well Mary... who are you thinking of? Probably someone important enough to be mentioned that way. Haih... but then again, it might be her cute puppy Sparky!

What's my secret? It's not really a secret but it scares the bejeezers out of me thinking that I'll always end-up alone and I hate that sinking feeling which I usually get when I am around a lot of people.

I tend to wonder if this is it, you know? Life don't get any better than this. Then I think, fuck yeah I'm with my best friends having a blast here drinking or chilling, eating or whatsoever. But is this the way that I spend most of my life in the future? What about other things you know, the family shiz? Do things like that really happen to people like me?

I can't help thinking that way. Like Kevin always say, that's just the way we look at life. We're cynics, we consistently look at life with the glass half empty. Oh god I can't wait til' I see him again. Being with Kevin makes me feel normal because I'm with a person who's on the same page as I do. If he wasn't gay, I'd totally marry him.

Hmmm... wait a nimmit. Maybe we can make a pact. Like when we turn 40 and no one wants us, we can just marry each other and live together happily, cynically ever after. It's definitely a better option that crappily ever after right?

But then again, I do have another pact I made with Redza (one of my closest friend who I, myself regret not keeping a close contact with these days). Well, we thought that we should just marry each other if we're still not by the time I turn 27 and he, 35. Well, that is coming next year. I wonder if he still remembers our deal.

Haih, the things we say and do when we didn't really think of the future at that time. Now the future has become today and tomorrow is just a day away. Each day I wake up and realized that that's one day gone. Sigh...

Anyways, here's something I was listening to. Can You Keep a Secret by Utada Hikaru. I used to be a fan of hers back in highschool and I remember that my classmate NgunTC was obsessed with her too. Well, back then he didn't know he was gay either but it was obvious he was leaning towards that and I am glad you came out of your closet!

End of a Beginning

Uni officially starts this Monday. Again, I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'd seriously rather work than hit the books? But I need that degree. Haih....

Since moving to No.43, I use the road after Subang Airport to get to Shah Alam. On the way there is Kg Melayu Subang. I don't have a problem with the kampung (be it kg Cina, India, DLL or whatever la) but what I do have a problem is all the Mak Cik driving on that road; they tend to bloody drive you off the road most of the time.

Why? My theory is that they don't have peripheral vision? Why again? Their tudung! Are your arms too heavy for you to fold you headgear nicely? Seriously people if you wear it make sure you wear it properly. I don't have a problem with your tudung but if it hinders your sight and put other people's well being at risk, then I have a problem with you!

Look at Exhibit A:

*Sorry about the picture, it's kinda small.

Those horses have blinds on them so they focus on the way their supposed to be going but when you drive, you need all the 'eyes' you can get and having a pseudo blind doesn't help!!! Tolonglah rajinkan diri anda dan lipat tudung tu! (Please fold your head scarves/gear). It'll look better if you do it too! *

Looking back, I realized that I have three special brothers. They are the gays of my life and I love you guys. Alan, Azraai and of course Kevin (my classmate not the other Kevin aka K) I'd be lost without you guys.

Alan: My lepak kaki when there's nothing else but drive around and smoke. He's my adik kesayangan.

Azraai: My style guru. If it weren't for you, I'd still look like a person who just got out from a train wreck or car crash.

Kevin: Uni would be boring without you. Who else am I gonna sit with and by cynical with at the smoking room and class. Without you, I'd be all alone criticizing the Korean girl's ugly shoes and bow! I can't wait to see you

Here's a song for them. Jennifer Lopez's Baby I Love You. The song was originally written for Ben Affleck but we all know what happened to Bennifer... Ben found another Jennifer (Garner) and married her instead. Oh well, I hope J.Lo kept the pink diamond engagement ring he got for her! I love the video too because she doesn't look like she had 5 inches of make up which will go poof! when you smack her in the face.

Another gay that I love is... (Drum rolls please!) Mr Anderson Cooper (Mr Silver Fox) himself. Look at him, he's hot, wealthy (all that Vanderbilt money), smart (the guy graduated from Yale), was a model for CK and Ralph Lauren and he was also an intern in the CIA. He has the whole package of any girl's dream man!

Although he never did confirm that he is gay, but c'mon a man that perfect? Of course he's gay. Hahah... jahat mulut aku but hey, gay or not I LOVE ANDERSON COOPER. He was one of the reasons I thought of being a reporter (Christiane Amapour is still my number 1 idol tho).

Somoeone actually made a blog about him and I love it. Check it out: http://addicted-to-andy.blogspot.com/

And since I'm always posting emo songs, here's another one from J.Lo and Marc Anthony aka Skeletor (before they got married and popped the twins). The Spanish song is about the guy not wanting his woman love him anymore coz he's dying or something. Well, March Anthony does look like he' got some serious illness due to him being extra skinny and near skeletal.

Hope you guys enjoy the long weekend. Remember, if you're thinking of going to the Curve or Ikano, remember that Ikea is having their annual sale. Try to avoid the place like the plague if you don't intend to get stuck in the jam and take forever to get a parking space. If you can't get a proper parking please don't park your car by the roadside because when there's millions of people wanting to just browse the place and end up with some stuff then decided to dump them before the counter because the line is too damn freaking long, putting your car by the roadside will create more jam. So please park at the Curve or Ikano properly.

What's my plan for the weekend? More gardening. My African Daisy bloomed for the first time after being under my care this morning and I'm excited to get more plants. The okra started sprouting from the seeds and seems to be doing great as well. The only problem is that being a novice (after not doing any bit of gardening for years), I planted the whole packet and now I got like 20 okra plants fighting for space. I'm considering about sending my mom some of the plants because she's got the space in the garden and I know it will be well taken care of.

Well hello there....

I have moved yet again! I have decided to come back to Blogger because... just because. I don't usually like moving to a new blog but I guess, what the hell.

I no longer drink a double shot of espresso in the morning anymore. The reasons:

1. I don't have to wake-up early in the morning for work anymore.

2. I have more time to sleep these days that I don't even take coffee in the morning.

3. I need a change.

4. Moved into a new house last month. I guess my blog gotta follow my lead as well.

I'm still the one writing the shiz on the blog so, it's the same thing. Just a different address. Thank's for reading my ramblings and my continuing whining! Cheers guys...