Can You Keep a Secret?

Secrets... everyone has 'em but not everyone can keep them. Why do we love secrets so much?

My take...

1) You feel privileged that someone just confided in and disclosed their secrets.

2) But what good is a secret when you can't tell anyone right?

3) So then, you tell your best friend or other people about the secret but tell them to keep that as a secret.

4) See the cycle developing here? Because of course the other person will tell their friends.

5) In no time, everyone knows about the 'big giant elephant' that walks by when the original person with the secret comes strolling by.

The lesson: If you have a secret and want to keep it a secret don't bother telling anyone else. Perhaps subconsciously these people want their secrets to be known. Perhaps it's better that way (in some cases).

I for one have made that mistake but hey, you live, you learn.

Sometimes it's just not big ass secrets that you want to reveal but also your emotions. That's why you get cryptic status updates or tweets. Eg: Mary thinks of that person bla bla bla.

Why can't Mary just tell who the person she thinks of? It it her mom, ex-lover, boyfriend, dog? Then you get people commenting and asking who is that person and so fourth. Then she'd probably reply, just some person I think of.

Well, well, well Mary... who are you thinking of? Probably someone important enough to be mentioned that way. Haih... but then again, it might be her cute puppy Sparky!

What's my secret? It's not really a secret but it scares the bejeezers out of me thinking that I'll always end-up alone and I hate that sinking feeling which I usually get when I am around a lot of people.

I tend to wonder if this is it, you know? Life don't get any better than this. Then I think, fuck yeah I'm with my best friends having a blast here drinking or chilling, eating or whatsoever. But is this the way that I spend most of my life in the future? What about other things you know, the family shiz? Do things like that really happen to people like me?

I can't help thinking that way. Like Kevin always say, that's just the way we look at life. We're cynics, we consistently look at life with the glass half empty. Oh god I can't wait til' I see him again. Being with Kevin makes me feel normal because I'm with a person who's on the same page as I do. If he wasn't gay, I'd totally marry him.

Hmmm... wait a nimmit. Maybe we can make a pact. Like when we turn 40 and no one wants us, we can just marry each other and live together happily, cynically ever after. It's definitely a better option that crappily ever after right?

But then again, I do have another pact I made with Redza (one of my closest friend who I, myself regret not keeping a close contact with these days). Well, we thought that we should just marry each other if we're still not by the time I turn 27 and he, 35. Well, that is coming next year. I wonder if he still remembers our deal.

Haih, the things we say and do when we didn't really think of the future at that time. Now the future has become today and tomorrow is just a day away. Each day I wake up and realized that that's one day gone. Sigh...

Anyways, here's something I was listening to. Can You Keep a Secret by Utada Hikaru. I used to be a fan of hers back in highschool and I remember that my classmate NgunTC was obsessed with her too. Well, back then he didn't know he was gay either but it was obvious he was leaning towards that and I am glad you came out of your closet!