AA Alert

Gah... that feeling is creeping up on me again. The feeling of needing alco. Or perhaps just the need to get drunk and not be constantly thinking. Not so much of the getting drunk part because as I get older the hangovers gets worse. Miss the days when I could party up til 6.ooam and still make it for class at 8.00am. Albeit the fact that my backpack is tied to my ankle and I'm dragging it to class.

Nowadays, I won't even get out of bed til the hangover is over. But then again, I don't really get drunk these days so I actually forgot how I deal with it.

I'm not looking to partying it up, I'm more of "let's go to Bodega or something and chat and drink". That's kinda my thing.

Hmm... perhaps I should get some ice-cream today and douse it with Bailey's. Yesterday I was thinking of having a Colorado Bulldog (Coke+Kahlua) and today I just want to drink. Maybe I should sign-up for an AA class because my mind is subconsciously thinking of drinking these days.

I need a holiday. A real one quick. Maybe I should go to Langkawi one of these weekends. Chill by the beach, enjoy the sun and the sea, try to forget the things that are bothering me. I may be little to most people, but what's bothering me is really bothering me! Sighhh... the sign of aging, trying to get or experience as much as I could before people start laughing at you and pointing whilst saying, "who brought their mom to the club?!"

But then again, I am not a clubbing kaki in the first place. Never was, never is and never will. I find the whole thing tiring and knowing that almost all clubs in this region is a fire hazard doesn't really help.

I'm paranoid. When I went off to Kuantan for CNY (Ed was in Aussie), I hid the keys to the house somewhere else. Somewhere where robbers won't think that it's there. But then again, if they can break into the house, the can just smash through the doors of the room anytime. Bongok kan? But that's just me.

Another classic example of me being paranoid is that I used to carry a hunting knife with me. Yupp, a hunting knife with the blade made of carbon steel. I was thinking that if someone was after me, they'd better be read to deal with me and the 'knife of fury'!

Then again, I used to take different routes when I walk home from college. That's me being paranoid again. I'd rather take the longer route or change it on a daily basis so that I don't develop a pattern. So I won't be predictable and become a target of crime. Whatever kinda crime that you can commit to an 18 year old girl walking home from college.

I also always text the licence plate numbers of cabs that I take to Ed. Back then I used to text Diana my housemate. It's something that I just do. To make sure that even if I'm not OK, atleast people know where I was. Sometimes I even text the name of the cab driver.

Anyways, I don't know what else to write. I don't even know why I'm writing this post either. Macam buat semak otak aje. Oh, well. Gotta cabut.