For a friend.

When you feel that the air around you becomes thicker and it gets harder to breathe. You feel that time is slipping away and wonder did you pass by chance already? Did you just walked by it or was it you who let your life or chance pass you by.

The feeling of regret creeps upon you. Why did you choose this path instead of the other. Where would you be if you took the other road. But you live in reality and must live with the fact that you made your choice. You are where you are because you dictated your own life. Not somebody else. Nobody coerced or forced you into choosing you directions.

You wake up each day wondering what will the day bring. Will it be a good day or should you just stay in bed and let it pass? Gamble your day with idleness to avoid the probability of having to face a bad day.

But because you realize that that is no way to live a life albeit the fact that sometimes you think that this isn't the life you would want to lead. You get up anyways, you get yourself ready, face the mirror to prepare yourself to face the world, perhaps even to make yourself feel better.

You go through the day feeling that you need to slay a dragon or just knowing that there will be challenges ahead. You know that everyday brings upon a new challenge or more. Like most people you rise above it and look at it as a job well done. But sometimes, just sometimes some challenges try to break you. Sometimes it may feel like they've broken you already. You whine and moan about it but the wonderful thing about you is that you hide it so well. In your laughter, your jokes... Then sometimes, just sometimes it will be too hard to bear and you cry on your own.

Just remember one thing. You have people who loves you and who will be there when the times gets a little bit too much to bear, when everything just doesn't seem the way it expect it to turn out. While we all try to be at peace with ourselves as we navigate our lives, we have each other to turn to. To share bad days, bad moments, fights with the significant others as well as just to share frozen-yogurt, have lunches or just hang out. You have a friend in me.

Give a little...

A little respect goes a long way. While respects covers a broad spectrum of our daily lives, what I want to rant here is respecting time and to be precise, other people's time. I know I am rather guilty of this as well because I'm usually late to meet up with friends. In my defense, although it's rather lame is that I live in a place far, far away from civilization and yes, traffic can prove to be a bitch sometimes. But as I said, it's a lame excuse and these days I try to be on time by leaving home an hour earlier.

I really hate when people are late and they don't even bother telling you. To top that off, when you call them they say that they're five minutes away and only 30 mins later they arrive. I'd rather that you just tell me you're gonna be late rather lie to make me feel better because I absolutely hate, hate, hate waiting. So please, just be honest because at the end of the day, you're still gonna be late and still gonna annoy me. Lying about it just makes it worst. Same goes, if you're waiting for something and get delayed just tell la. It only takes about half a minute to text someone and it's only costs 15 cents (max). Isn't it easier that way? Am I asking for too much?

Another thing I don't get is late night calls. Do you really have to call at 1am to ask someone about your car? Really? Mati ke kalau tunggu esok pagi? Is it so hard to have some courtesy? You may love your car but in real life, its a CAR! It can wait, it's not like its in a coma or something.

Late night calls should be reserved to urgent matters and emergencies only. When I say emergency it means:

A. You are in the hospital; but not because of a fever or something lame.

B. You are stuck by the roadside because your car died. Yes, that to me is an emergency especially after midnight. But if you have AAM, call them la. Don't call other people.

C. Somebody just mugged or robbed you and the only number you can remember is mine.

Please, think of others as well and not only the person that you call. If you know the person lives with someone else, you'd know that the ringing from your call would most likely wake other people up. All I want it a good night sleep. That's all.

Again, I am not asking for too much but a little respect goes a long way. If you know you're gonna run late, let the other person know. Don't tell them you just left whatever place you were at when you're still there. Don't tell them you're 5 mins away when you're gonna take more time than that and late night calls should be reserved for emergencies only.

I'm Still Here

I'm still alive and around. Just been busy with assignments to be blogging.

Here's what I've been listening to these days:

Vertical Horizon's I'm Still Here

and

Lady Antebellum's Need You Now

Will blog more when the waves of assignments are over, right before exam starts.

Back to Bitter Betty

I've been on Bitter Betty mode for a while now (that's what Lyn calls it). People always say, "Hey, I haven't seen or heard from you for a while. What's up?" Haiyoo, I'm so not in the mood to talk and my usual response is that I've been busy. With what? I have no bloody clue.

Apart from hanging out with Kevin on campus and seeing the other half of the Twisted Sisters; Lyn for lunches and just bitch sessions. I'm usually accompanied by Mr White at home. Somehow I see a vision of me being an old cat lady. Nooooo......!!

At this moment in time, I think Lyn is the only person who keeps me going. Seriously, this isn't a tribute post for her or anything. It's just that, I tend to look forward to those lunches or dinners or frozen yogurts because atleast, I have another person who goes through similar stuff that I do and understand what it feels like to be stuck in this country and having to deal with people who simply refuses to evolve. Gah!

I know, I know... I'm rambling and the evolve part is our inside joke.

But hey, atleast I have friend who's on the same wavelength as I am. Someone who doesn't mind going for a lesbian grocery shopping trip almost every other week together and not judge what is in my cart.

Truth to be told... we all need someone who's just there. Be it to bitch, whine, complain or whatever else that's needed and still take you as you are. God, I feel like I'm talking about some guy here. But then again, we the girls who went looking for car parts in various chop shops in TTDI, Segambut and Jln Ipoh even after people told us that it was hard to find her car parts. Hah! Proved you people wrong when we found what we were looking for at the chop shop. That day made the both of us feel manly.

Just by looking at us, people would usually say that we just have a negative attitude and outlook on life. Well, that is the real us. We're bitter... so? It's either you take it or leave it. We may be bitter, but we have each other.

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On another note, Iron Man 2 sucks. There's no story at all. Just fights, explosions and Mickey Rourke getting hit by a Rolls Royce over and over again and not breaking a single bone. Wtf? If I hit someone with my 'going-to-fall-apart-soon' Wira over and over again that way, he'd be dead! I don't need Rolls Royce. I can finish the dude off if you gave me my mom's old Mini.

In the second installation of the comic book franchise, Tony Stark is racing against the clock as he is dying from the paladium that's in his system. Ivan Venko wanted to avenge what his family had to go through since he thinks that Howard, Tony's dad betrayed daddy Venko, the scientist and got him and his family marooned in Siberia. (Fact: Ivan's dad Anton is the original Whiplash in the comic series). So we've got a dying superhero and Mickey Rourke with an electric whip.

In another part of the movie we see Tony doing some renovations to his home and made a collider in just ONE day. He didn't even pun on the suit. He hacked and jackhammered some walls and the floor and completed his rediscovery of a new element that ultimately saves his life and allowed him to fight Mickey Rourke.

Basically Mickey Rourke was just an excuse to make this movie because there's nothing more in the story that is worth mentioning. Even the humour wasn't as good as the first one. But this is nothing compared to Avatar which waste of 2 hrs and 30 minutes of my life. I could be doing something better like watching the grass grow or look at paint drying off than to ever watch the blue man group run around the jungle called Pandora. Hmmmphhh they couldn't even give an original name for a planet after they ripped off the storyline from Pocahontas. Atleast there was a cute raccoon in Pocahontas.

I'd rather watch Dear John over and over again. Atleast they have Channing Tatum with his shirt off in that one.

First of all, sorry for not posting anything up for a while. The internet connection here sucks now and I get frustrated when I can't get proper connection.

My new laptop finally arrived. I took nearly 3 weeks to get it but I finally got it. It took them a while til I actually forgot that I bought a new laptop. So it was kinda a nice surprise for me when Ed came home with it and I asked what's that? Or did I ask "Is that your new laptop?" I think it's the former.

Anyways, last night Ed took my to the Kelly Clarkson concert. I don't wanna sound me, oh heck I always sound mean... well, Kelly was on the chunky side. Although I know that we shouldn't be judging an entertainer just because they're a bit on the plus size but Ed and I just had to made fat jokes. Seriously, we had to!

Apart from the weight issues, Kelly was awesome. She made it look easy to sing high notes while prancing around the stage. There was no costume change. Just a black dress with leggings that made her look even fatter. But she performed non-stop for more than an hour and that is commendable.

I had a great time. I kinda have a mild sore throat on the account of singing (screaming more likely) along to her songs the whole night. In addition to her songs she also did some cover versions including Kings of Leon's Use Somebody, Kylie's Can't Get You Outta My Head and Alanis Morisette's That I Would Be Good.

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Our garden now looks like a desert. After 4 months of living here we finally got some people to dig up all the earth and remove them so that we can plant proper grass in the next three weeks.

The lady fingers are bearing fruit and the funny thing is that I have no idea what to do with them apart from blanching them in hot water and eat them with sambal belacan.

The watermelons started flowering already. Soon I hope, we'll get to see some fruit.

Bangkung forever?

I think for 3 years now I have been avoiding weddings. Well this year is another year filled with weddings. I guess it's time for people around my age gets hitched, have the kids; the whole nine yards kinda thing. I have a selective process when it comes to weddings. Here's how I do it.

Wedding card arrives --> Whose is it? --> Relatives or friends? --> If yes to relatives, it's either I just chuck it in a bin or just leave it where I found it. Weddings sucks enough already and having my family around (either my mom or dad's side) doesn't help. Seriously. I am glad my cousins are all getting married and stuff but wedding + family = a double whammy on my part and the only thing that makes it easier is having someone to go with. But who the heck wants to accompany another person to a wedding. Seriously, I won't either. Having to sit at a table where you don't know anyone makes it even worse. Sorry, wrong number.

If it is a friend --> Is that person particularly close to me? --> Yes --> Is it a Malay wedding? The I got to borrow some clothes. (Hanie your kebaya is still with me in one piece. Keep forgetting to send it back to her). If it's not then it makes it easier. Atleast at Chinese weddings there's always beer or whiskey. That ought to drown out the wedding merriment in my head and by the time the bride and groom walks by, I am just smiling or dazing into oblivion or some made up land.

The thing is, I usually never get to the wedding. I am not particularly close to many people so 80% out of the invites usually just lay there forgotten or in the trash. Seeing wedding invites are enough to piss me off on some days. The 20%? --> I'll wonder who will be there and if there's a person I don't want to meet, I'd skip the wedding as well. I'll take my friend out for dinner to compensate after that. If there's nothing then I'll ask Ed if he wants to go. If he's busy, I'd skip the wedding and again take my friends out for dinner after that. I seriously hate going to weddings alone. Feels like I'm just gonna jump off a cliff after the ceremony is over or something.

So yeah, I usually attend 10% of the total wedding invites I get in a year. Next time around, don't waste wedding invites on me. Just text me the date, venue and time. It's easier and cheaper. If not, just invite me on FB.

Most of the time, while the wedding takes place, I'll be waiting for Lyn at Jalan Bangkung follwed by drive aimlessly while we figure out what to do. It usually consists of "Stop near Nirwana for a while, need to thread my eyebrows" or "let stop for cakes/ice cream/fro-yo/sweets!". Yesterday during a very early dinner at Chilis she asked, "Are we gonna be 40 and still be meeting up at Bangkung driving our cars that are about to fall apart?"

Honestly, being a realist, I wanted to say yes. I just don't think people like us are meant to be the ones off getting married, starting families etc. I mean, we're dysfunctional most of the time and dysfunctional people do not make the correct marrying material for anyone. Look at the Simpsons. Would you want to live next door to people like them?

But I said, no. I'm not gonna rain on anything and if people like me are caught saying things like that they'd say, you need to see the therapist. Well Lyn won't say it but most people would. They would ask me why am I so negative about everything then say I need to get examined again. It's a crime for depressed people to think negatively because people expect you to be normal and think of butterflies and unicorns or whatever normal people think of. Rainbows?

Anyways, Lyn and I did the meet up at Bangkung thing again and spent the day in Bangsar yesterday and most of what we did was people watching. That's what happens when two unmotivated people spend their afternoons I guess.

From our observations we also concluded that there are a few types of ladies with LV Bags. 1. I took it from my mom's closet category = Rich kids. 2.The Datins, the ones with the huge ass hair; sometimes dyed in a bloody fierce colour or some stupid ass blonde shade. You're Asian/Melayu or whatever, there's a reason why you weren't born blonde, coz it don't look nice. Sheeshh....

3. Then there's the young 20s girl who somehow manages to drive a nice convertible BMW, huge ass sunglasses, nice hair, designer clothes. I bet somewhere out there there's an old geezer paying for the car, hair, clothes and of course handbag.

Let's make a comparison between type 2 and 3. Type 3 probably is sleeping with type 2's man. So one man is paying for both bags (bags here is used as a metaphor, go figure it out yourselves). Well you'd think at 2 as a poor sad lady. But hey look, she still have the 'bag' and all. When that old geezer die she's still getting his money. The kids are still hers (if she has any).

For 3, you think she's slutty and easy? She's smart, cunning and at the end of the day, she's got her 'bag' too. Doesn't matter how she got the 'bag' but she has it doesn't she and I bet as hell she's happy for that as well.

So Imma gonna make it a point not to scoff at type 2 or 3 girls because at the end of the day, they're the smarter ones. Why? Because while I sat and ate my Monterey Chicken, I'm the only one without the 'bag'.

*But I'm still gonna scoff at type 1 girls.

Flower Power

As mentioned previously, I have been doing some work in the garden. One of the reasons (apart from Mr White) we choose this particular house was because of the huge garden. Of course at that time we didn't think about mowing the lawn or was it already obvious that it will be in Ed's department?

Anyways, I along with Ed and his brute 'foreign labour' like skills (he was in charge of digging out the grass, rocks and atleast 4 inches of soil) planted some flowers along with okra and watermelons as well. Here are the pictures:

I don't even know what these flowers/plants are called but they look super pretty.

The Japanese Roses patch. Got them in various colours: white, purple/dark pink, light pink, light pink with white edges, red and orange. It's easy to grow. You basically just snap one of it's 'branches' and poke it into the ground and voila, it'll just grow from there. Just make sure it's watered everyday. It blooms under the hot sun, particularly between 11am to 3pm.

These lovely red flowers are the African Daisies, my favourite flower. Easy to grow and I got it from the nursery for RM7 a plant. Not that expensive eh? All I did was to replant it in the planter next to the gate and water it twice a day. I'll post some pictures when the pink/purple one blooms. I'm anticipating that to happen by tomorrow or the day after.

There are definitely more pictures but I'm getting lazy to post it. Basically they're some shots of the okra and sunflower plants which I grew from seeds. The storm yesterday prompted me to move the sunflowers because it was nearly submerged in water. Thank god I managed to save them but my watermelons are gone.

I guess Ed and I have to start eating more watermelons to get the seeds again. Hope you guys have a wonderful Tuesday because the weekend is still far, far away.